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Trix

Sunday Talk: Eyes On The Prize

Trix

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Saturday June 15, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/06/15 · 21:29

Nearly three years after he went on live TV and asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton's emails—which they tried to do five hours later—President @realDonaldTrump issued another appeal to America's adversaries for help winning an election.

During a taped interview with George Stephanopoulos, Trump let it be known that he's willing to accept foreign assistance with his re-election campaign—federal laws against that sort of thing notwithstanding.

Trump's comments were shocking, but hardly surprising—since taking office, he has made it abundantly clear that his own interests greatly outweigh the national interest.

Congressional Republicans reacted swiftly, helping their Democratic colleagues pass legislation that would require campaigns to report foreign contacts to the FBI.

Just kidding... the GOP blocked that legislation from being voted on—and for that, they received the thanks of a grateful president.

Sunday Talk: All The World's A Stage

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Saturday June 08, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/06/08 · 21:29

This week, President @realDonaldTrump took his unreality show—and his four adult children—on the road, traveling to the UK (of which the Moon is a part) for an official state visit.

Even before his arrival, Trump had already created headaches for his hosts—first by inserting himself into the UK's leadership race, then by insulting Meghan Markle (which he denied doing, despite it being on tape), and finally by calling the mayor of London a "stone cold loser."

However, once there, Trump was on his "best behavior," (poorly) tailoring his actions to fit the occasion—at least until the sun went down and his twitter machine was fired up.

Following the pomp and protests (fake news!) of their royal visit, the Trump clan made their way to Ireland (which, contrary to Trump's assertion, is not part of the UK)—home to their money-losing golf course—for "convenience" (and some business promotion).

Then, to mark the 75th anniversary of D-Day, they went to Normandy, where the draft dodger-in-chief honored the dead by insulting the living.

Sunday Talk: Double Negative Guilty

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Saturday June 01, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/06/01 · 21:29

This week, Special Counsel Robert Mueller spoke publicly for the first time since his investigation into allegations of collusion and obstruction began two years ago.

In a carefully worded statement, Mueller reiterated what his report said—Russia had interfered in the 2016 election, President @realDonaldTrump had definitely not been exonerated, and a DOJ opinion had prevented him from considering an indictment.

Although this came as a yuge surprise to Trump—who reportedly never read Mueller's report—he responded in the calm and measured way that we've all come to expect from him.

Just kidding—he went totally fucking bonkers, and, in the process, admitted for the first time that Russia helped get him elected.

Then he quickly backtracked on that admission, as extremely stable geniuses are wont to do.

Sunday Talk: The Most Dangerous Game

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Saturday May 11, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/05/11 · 21:29

President @realDonaldTrump isn't just one of this country's biggest sports fans—he's also one its greatest athletes (bone spurs notwithstanding).

From the wrestling ring to the golf course, his skills are the stuff of legend.

That being said, there is perhaps no activity that he excels at more than the "sport" of tax fraud—with the possible exception of hide-and-go-seek.

Despite repeatedly claiming to be the "most transparent president in history," Trump has gone to extraordinary lengths to prevent the public from seeing his tax returns, the full Mueller report, his academic records, and more.

Trump's wholly unprecedented efforts to obstruct Congress' traditional oversight role have brought America to the brink of a constitutional crisis.

And, in the process, he has helped Vladimir Putin score another goal.

Sunday Talk: Very Cool and Very Legal

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Saturday May 04, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/05/04 · 21:29

This week, Bill Barr made his first (and only) appearance before Congress since the release of the redacted Mueller report.

Although he was ostensibly testifying in his official capacity as Attorney General of the United States, Barr came off sounding a lot more like President @realDonaldTrump's criminal defense attorney; in fact, if you closed your eyes and listened to him speak, you might have mistaken him for Rudy Giuliani.

The night before Barr's appearance, news broke that Bob Mueller had written to him, strenuously objecting to Barr's misrepresentation of the report's findings in his 4-page summary.

In his efforts to defend himself, Barr—who admitted that he hadn't even examined any of the underlying evidence before rendering his "not guilty" verdict—continued to misrepresent the report's findings, as well as the contents of Mueller's letter, and the law itself.

I suppose that all of this is moot anyway—after all, Trump and Vladmir Putin agree that they didn't collude.

So, case closed, I guess... or maybe not.

Sunday Talk: This Ain't It, Cheif

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Saturday April 27, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/04/27 · 21:29

With each passing day since the release of the (redacted) Mueller report, it has become increasingly clear that—contrary to the assertions of Attorney General Bill Barr and President @realDonaldTrump—the report does not exonerate Trump of collusion (aka, conspiracy) or obstruction.

In fact, as legal experts have had time to delve further into the report's findings, it has become impossible to escape the conclusion that only the DOJ's longstanding policy against indicting a sitting president prevented Trump from being charged.

As a student of history, even Trump seems to recognize this reality; although he had praised the report before its content were made public, he has now taken to calling it "total bullshit."

And, despite claiming to be the "most transparent president ever," Trump has opted to stonewall all Congressional investigations—filing an unprecedented lawsuit to prevent any oversight, and vowing to challenge efforts to impeach him with the Supreme Court.

Needless to say, this is not how innocent people typically behave.

Sunday Talk: Truth or Consequences

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Saturday April 20, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/04/20 · 21:29

This week, Attorney General Bill Barr finally released a "lightly" redacted version of the Mueller report to the public and to Congress—but not before sharing it with President @realDonaldTrump's lawyers, and repeatedly misrepresenting its contents.

Far from providing Trump with a complete and total exoneration—as both he and Barr claimed it did—the report painted a shocking portrait of a lawless president who went to extraordinary ends to prevent the truth from coming out.

And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling subordinates who refused to do his bidding and contemporaneously documented his many efforts to obstruct justice.

Fortunately for Trump, congressional Republicans no longer view obstruction of justice as being problematic; as far as they're concerned, lying about a blowjob is much worse than lying about at least 140 clandestine contacts with Russians.

And, in another lucky development for the Trump crime family, it turns out that Don Jr. is too stupid to collude; if he only had a brain, he'd be fucked.

Sunday Talk: Tangled Up In Redaction

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Saturday April 06, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/04/06 · 21:29

In 1965, future Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan said "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows"—and more than 50 years later, that still holds true.

Two weeks ago, when Attorney General Bill Barr delivered his 4-page summary of Bob Mueller's investigative findings, it was clear to anyone who'd been paying attention that the reports of President @realDonaldTrump's (purported) exoneration had been greatly exaggerated.

Nonetheless, Trump opted to take a victory lap, which, in hindsight, was probably not such a smart move.

This week, frustrated by the narrative being put forth, Mueller's famously tight-lipped team began to leak word that, not only doesn't their report exonerate Trump, it's a lot more damaging than A.G. Barr let on.

In light of this, Congressional Democrats' demands for the full Mueller report ramped up, with the so-called "witch hunt" showing no signs of ending anytime soon.

In other words, mission accomplished!

Sunday Talk: Summary Judgment

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Saturday March 30, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/03/30 · 21:29

Last Sunday, less than 48 hours after receiving Special Counsel Bob Mueller's report on the 22-month investigation into allegations of collusion with Russia and obstruction of justice, Attorney General Bill Barr delivered his verdict: Not guilty.

Barr's 4-page summary of Mueller's findings—which he would later claim was never intended to be a summary—was not just substantially shorter than the Mueller report, it was also substantially shorter than the unsolicited memo that Barr sent to President @realDonaldTrump's legal team last year when he was auditioning for the job.

Despite the fact that Barr's (non-summary) summary quoted Mueller explicitly stating that Trump was not exonerated, Trump and his allies claimed that he was completely exonerated—a view that's rejected by the majority of Americans.

Nevertheless, Trump declared victory and immediately set about seeking retribution against those people he believes did him wrong.

Although it remains to be seen whether or not the full Mueller report will ever be made public, one thing is clear (to Republicans): Hillary Clinton must be further investigated.

Sunday Talk: Known Unknowns

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Saturday March 23, 2019 · 9:29 PM PDT

2019/03/23 · 21:29

675 days after it began, Robert Mueller's investigation into allegations of collusion with Russia and obstruction of justice is finally complete.

The contents of Mueller's highly-anticipated report remain confidential—known only to Mueller himself, Attorney General William Barr, and Deputy A.G. Rod Rosenstein—but that hasn't stopped some of President @realDonaldTrump's allies from speculating (if not outright declaring) that he's been completely vindicated.

Meanwhile, Trump has been atypically silent.

Even if Mueller's report doesn't contain any bombshells—such as evidence that Trump asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton's emails, or that Don Jr. sought incriminating info from Russians about Hillary, or that Trump admitted (on TV) that he fired James Comey because of "this Russia thing"—that doesn't mean Trump is out of danger.

After all, aside from numerous far-reaching Congressional investigations, Trump is also facing numerous state and federal investigations and lawsuits.

Fortunately for Trump, he has excellent lawyers like Rudy Giuliani defending him.

Sunday Talk: Purple Heart of Darkness

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Saturday March 02, 2019 · 9:29 PM PST

2019/03/02 · 21:29

Fifty years after he was sidelined by bone spurs, President @realDonaldTrump finally made his way to Vietnam in service of his country (read: Russia) this week.

There, he was shot down—like a dog—and voluntarily recorded a propaganda video in which he heaped praise upon one of America's most ruthless adversaries.

Some might call Trump a hero, but I like people who weren't captured.

Meanwhile, back on the home front, Trump was under sustained attack by his former attorney/fixer, Michael Cohen, who cast him as a racist, a conman, and a cheat.

Cohen came ready with receipts to support his explosive allegations about Trump's rampant criminality; in fact, Republicans didn't even try to push back on this.

However, when it came to Trump's (supposed) racism, Republicans were much more combative—after all, how can Trump be racist if he has a black friend?!

Sunday Talk: The End Is Near?!

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Saturday February 23, 2019 · 9:29 PM PST

2019/02/23 · 21:29

Ever since the appointment of Special Counsel Robert Mueller nearly two years ago, there have been persistent rumors of his investigation's imminent conclusion—and this week, the speculation reached fever pitch.

Many of these rumors were floated by President @realDonaldTrump's lawyers—either out of wishful thinking, or in an effort to calm Trump's nerves; others have come from Trump himself, by way of his threats to fire Mueller.

Regardless of their provenance, all of these rumors have one thing in common—none have proven true.

And so, the waiting continues.

Whenever Mueller's investigation ultimately reaches its conclusion and his highly-anticipated report is issued, that won't necessarily be the end; in fact, it might just be the beginning.

Until then, we're basically waiting for Godot.

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